So here's the thing...
It was a few weeks ago, so July, when I walked into a craft store and was bombarded with Christmas decorations. This beloved holiday is about five months away. That's nearly a half a year away. Half. A. Fucking. Year. The radio stations where I live started playing Christmas music sometime around the first of November and stores set out red and green baubles catty corner to Halloween costumes. Valentine's went up before New Year's and now autumn and Halloween decorations are crowding the shelves near back to school supplies.
I can't stand holidays. Stores set out decorations several months in advance and its impossible to escape. By the time the actual holiday rolls around I feel like I've been celebrating for far too long. I can't even stand my favorite holiday until the day of. For me the only acceptable time this stuff should be on shelves is the first of whatever month the holiday is in. I sound like a scrooge but I can only handle so much in advance.
Here it is: One of my darkest secrets, I'm a holiday hater.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Chasing a Dream
So here's the thing....
The path to reaching your dreams isn't smooth. Its full of turns and pot holes, fallen tree limbs, stalled cars and ....other people. It's complicated and it's long and to be frank it fucking sucks. Sometimes you wonder if it's even worth it. You throw in all your "I can't"s and "not possible"s and the road gets so much more treacherous. Yet you stumble over the tree, and trip into a pot hole and you keep going. The path is there, laid out before you. But are you brave enough to walk it?
I knew what I wanted when I started college. I loved writing and reading books and one day I was going to be the stuff they talked about in high school English classes or at least in book clubs. So the most logical major for me was English. And for awhile I liked it. At least I thought I did.
I started baking. Simple cookies and cupcakes. Then more extravagant ones. I was two and a half years in college when I realized culinary was where I should be. My university didn't offer it and the closest one that did cost more than what I'd already spent in two years for just one year there.
Then one by one the dominoes fell. I started failing classes. I started hating my major. I started thinking that I'm too much in debt to go to another school once I graduated. I started thinking that all that debt was going to prevent me from opening my bakery. My situation at home just seemed to make things that much more worse. And I was the vice president of one club and the president of another. And I didn't think I could do it. Being strong is hard. To bear the weight and hold it, takes so much out of you. Three classes shy of finishing English (not my degree just the major), I switched. And now I don't even know what my dream is anymore. Do I still want to own a bakery, write a book? Everything has changed because finally I realized I couldn't change my situation until I admitted to myself that first I needed to change. For so long my decisions were based on if they made others happy or if they were going to be disappointed in me if I did this or will they be proud of me if I did that. It's so deprecating to yourself when you do that. This is my life and I'll be damned if I let my fears and worries about pleasing others stop me from doing what will make me happy.
Here it is.
You only have one life to live, so take control and make it something worth your while.
The path to reaching your dreams isn't smooth. Its full of turns and pot holes, fallen tree limbs, stalled cars and ....other people. It's complicated and it's long and to be frank it fucking sucks. Sometimes you wonder if it's even worth it. You throw in all your "I can't"s and "not possible"s and the road gets so much more treacherous. Yet you stumble over the tree, and trip into a pot hole and you keep going. The path is there, laid out before you. But are you brave enough to walk it?
I knew what I wanted when I started college. I loved writing and reading books and one day I was going to be the stuff they talked about in high school English classes or at least in book clubs. So the most logical major for me was English. And for awhile I liked it. At least I thought I did.
I started baking. Simple cookies and cupcakes. Then more extravagant ones. I was two and a half years in college when I realized culinary was where I should be. My university didn't offer it and the closest one that did cost more than what I'd already spent in two years for just one year there.
Then one by one the dominoes fell. I started failing classes. I started hating my major. I started thinking that I'm too much in debt to go to another school once I graduated. I started thinking that all that debt was going to prevent me from opening my bakery. My situation at home just seemed to make things that much more worse. And I was the vice president of one club and the president of another. And I didn't think I could do it. Being strong is hard. To bear the weight and hold it, takes so much out of you. Three classes shy of finishing English (not my degree just the major), I switched. And now I don't even know what my dream is anymore. Do I still want to own a bakery, write a book? Everything has changed because finally I realized I couldn't change my situation until I admitted to myself that first I needed to change. For so long my decisions were based on if they made others happy or if they were going to be disappointed in me if I did this or will they be proud of me if I did that. It's so deprecating to yourself when you do that. This is my life and I'll be damned if I let my fears and worries about pleasing others stop me from doing what will make me happy.
Here it is.
You only have one life to live, so take control and make it something worth your while.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)